Chris Jerichos Shaggin Wagon
by T Bond aka tbondrage99
Summary: OneShot. Jericho was fired from the WWE and then rose to the top of the Porn Biz and now has a new talk show. Chris Jericho's Shaggin' Wagon. Rating for many a sex related joke and reference. Please Read & Review!


DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN THE WWE OR ANY PORN MOVIES....ok so maybe I own 1...but I swear it was just reserch for this!  
  
NOTE #1: The Spell checker isnt working sorry.  
  
NOTE #2: This idea came to me after reading super all star author DCFanatic4life's story "Fire and Rain" which has Jericho desgise himself two chapters in a row...I suggested he dress as a porn star then she egged me on to doing it....or at least thats hoe I remember it....umm....Read Fire & Rain after this.....but make sure you read this first...I mean it makes sence your already here afterall...  
  
NOTE #3: If your offened by sexual referances....turn back....but if you want to laugh at them like me then feel free to stick around!  
  
NOTE #4: What are you kidding?! There are already 3 notes we dont need a forth....  
  
DATE: Feb 27th 2004  
  
____________________________________________  
  
CHRIS JERICHOS SHAGGIN' WAGGON  
  
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*We see a old 1970s stlye van that you might see every week on That '70s Show. Its painted a ugly shade of green with several dents a missing a side mirrior. The Van is boucing up and down with Guns N Roses "Welcome To The Jungle" playing inside very loudly. Soon the van stops bounching and the music stops, The back doors then open and the "high class" porn star who ran for Govener just months ago, walked out. No not Gary Coleman, or Gallager, or even Larry Flint. It was the boobtactular Mary Cerry. She is followed by a crew of three people one carring a big light, another one a mic, and another one a camera. Soon enough a fimiliar yet differnt face pops out of the back of the van.*  
  
Jericho- HEY!!!! My public awaits! What the hell are you doing out there? Come on in the van!  
  
*We go in the van which has a red fuzzy carpet on the floors, walls, and celing, where a disco ball is hanging. On the floor there is a heart shapped air mattress, and an assorted collection of dildos.*  
  
Jericho- Hey dont pay any attention to those! There not mine! Anyways as you can see Im Chris Jericho....what dont believe me? Sure I have a mullet now....and a seventies style mustache....and a tropical looking shirt.....and hot pants... But hey none of that matters anyways! Now I guess your wondering why in the hell is Chris Jericho, The King of The World doing with a mullet and porn mustcashe. Well as you probally know by now. I got fired from the WWE for saying Triple H is a powerhungry jackass and is only where he is because hes fucking the bosses daughter, behind his back, like many of you have done in the past. Unfortunally he was behind my back and fired me right on the spot.....the jackass! Anyways I tried to get into the NWA-TNA to get that farce of a wrestling orginazation some class and credability as there world champion but they decided to bring in that idiot from Survivor Johnny Fairplay instead....yeah I know what you thinking...WHO THE HELL IS JOHNNY FAIRPLAY!?! Anyways with a wife and new kid at home I had to do something....granted I AM a multi-millionaire but the thought of just staying at home listening to that beautiful battle ax screaming at me to change the kids diapers was just to much for me to bear, so I had to find a new job. I got shot down everywhere. I still dont understand that either. But then I thought of my solution! The one industry where both the beautiful people and the freaks are welecome....yes thats right I went crawling back to the WWE, unfrotunally Triple H was there and would have nothing of it despite a dramatic decrease in EVERYTHING after I left....The jackass! So then I went to the other industry that took both the bautiful people and freaks. THE PORN INDUSRTY!!!! They wanted me right away! They loved everything baout me, my face, my body, my 14 inch....well....you know. Anyways I had everything they wanted but they said I had to make two slight changes....thats where this reockulous facial hair and mullet came to play. Hey I DO have a family to provide for....well not really since I AM a multi-millionarie but yeah that whold diaper thing you know. So I did as they ask and I my porn career skyrocketed! YOu...I said they werent mine but....  
  
*Jercho reaches over to the didlos and picks up the largest one.*  
  
Jericho- But this one is mine if you catch my driff. I gotta tell you though....I didnt like the process of those big hairy dudes putting plaster on my pulsating memeber to make that thing....and yes one of those big hair guys was in fact A-Train who had also gotten fired....he got his when he said if Triple H gives him one more stupid storyline he would make him suck his dick. Of corse that was the one week Trips was at the Smackdown tapings and was behind A-Train when he said it and fired im on the spot. Now the only person doing the dick sucking is A-Train.....yes he like to make THOSE kinds of pornos.  
  
*Jericho puts the didlo of his "lil" friend back down with the rest of them then places a little crown on its lil head.*  
  
Jericho- Hey now that Im the biggest star the porn biz has ever seen hes the king of the world too. Anyways you maybe wondering why your here. Well its because I plan to get back into the mainstream with a brand new show of The Highlight Reel! Unfortunally the WWE owns rights to the name and Triple H wouldnt let me use it.....The Jackass! SOOOOOOO welcome to my all new all spectatular show "Chris Jerichos, Shaggin' Waggon!"  
  
*A sound track of a audience clapping plays.*  
  
Jericho- Thank you, thank you all very much. Now Its time for our first ever guest, she may of in fact been the biggest star the porn business has ever seen until me....in more ways then one....you know cause shes really popular and she has a really big rack. Ladies and mostly gentlemen please put your hands together for Jenna Jamesons boobs...along with the one and only Jenna Jameson!  
  
*The sound track of the audience clapping plays again as the back doors of Chris Jerichos Shaggin Wagon opens up and Jenna Jameson climbs in and takes a seat next to Chris Jericho.*  
  
Jenna- I Chris its nice to be here. Its actually only my second apperance on a talk show.  
  
Jericho- Well its nice to have you, but who was first?  
  
Jenna- Late Nite with Conan O' Brien. I had a guest spot as one of the trainers who shocked The Masterbating Bear after he starts Masterbating.  
  
Jericho- Interesting.  
  
Jenna- And very fun. Unfortunally my left boob poped out and they cut that part out of the show. The Masterbating Bear still isnt talking to me about that.  
  
Jericho- Well thats a sad sad thing. So Jenna tell me. You have been the undisputed Queen of the porn business for years, there was no one ever remotely as popular as you. How do you feel now that Im here and your merely the second most popular porn star these days?  
  
Jenna- Well Chris. I have been on top for years, after getting many a shot at superstardom most of which were in the face. Anyways after years of being on top for so many years I figure its time I try not being on top for once.  
  
Jericho- Beautifully put. You obvioulsy knew I was going to ask that question.  
  
Jenna- I figured as much.  
  
Jericho- Do you think Triple H is a jackass?  
  
Jenna- Well I never meet him but yes. Yes I do.  
  
Jericho- That was beautifully put as well. Jenna you tried your hand at the Wrestling business once. What ever happened there?  
  
Jenna- Well Chris everything was going all well and good but then I got a bruise....and it wasnt even shapped like a hand on my ass either, so that was the end of that!  
  
Jericho- Oh yeah I could see how that would make you want to quit.  
  
*Jericho picks up the didlo that was modeled after him which was now wearing that crown from the Jerry Lawler collection and hands it to Jenna.*  
  
Jericho- So Jenna....what do you think of that?  
  
Jenna- Very impressive.  
  
Jericho- Well it was modeled after the bling bling which I am king of afterall.  
  
Jenna- Wow.  
  
Jericho- I knew you would like that. Tell me Jenna. Do you have any sex toys out there as amazing as that?  
  
Jenna- Chris I was on top for years remember? I have alot of weird and kinky sex toys out there.  
  
Jericho- Give us a few examples.  
  
Jenna- They made a custom Flesh light that pretty much feels like your screwing me.  
  
Jericho- A Flesh light?  
  
Jenna- Yes its in the shape of a flash light but you can put your dick in there and it feels like a real vigina.  
  
Jericho- And this one feels like yours?  
  
Jenna- Yes.  
  
Jericho- Must be pretty loose.  
  
Jenna- Its not a best seller by any means.  
  
Jericho- I wouldnt think so. But I have a question about that I know how they made that didlo modeled on me, just simple plaster like they use for pretty much any characther props in hollywood....but how in the hell did they model that flesh light after you.  
  
Jenna- Its a complicated proceedure.  
  
Jericho- I assume so. Any other odd sex toys?  
  
Jenna- They made a life like sex doll of me, made of latex and other advance materials that makes it feel like real skin.  
  
Jericho- Are you serious?!  
  
Jenna- Yes. Its very popular, That one is a best seller, but it dets the buyer back over 5000 bucks.  
  
Jericho- Wow there are alot of rich lonley preverted nerds out there.  
  
Jenna- Hey Chris dont you go mocking them. If not for them I wouldnt be were I am today.  
  
Jericho- And on that uplifting note, I must sadly say that our time is up for today.  
  
Jenna- Awww already?  
  
Jericho- Afraid so.  
  
Jenna- Oh well.  
  
Jericho- So until next time folks remember I am a Sexy Beast and my bling bling is king of the world!  
  
*Jericho smiles at the audience and presses play on the CD player so that the Shaggin' Wagon was once more filled with the sounds of Guns N Roses Welcome Of The Jungle.*  
  
Well folks that all for this little....umm...well Im not sure what it is but I think its funny as hell...and anyone who reads my stuff knows I have a twisted sence of humor at times. Anyways Im not sure if I'll continue this or not so send me a review and tell me what you think.  
  
LaTerZ  
  
-T Bond 


End file.
